Expatriate Forums in Abu Dhabi (UAE)

Hi, I am a Filipina and presently here in the Philippines. My husband is a contract worker in Abu Dhabi. Recently I found out that he and his mistress who is also in Abu Dhabi are continuing their elicit affair through a forwarded text of his mistress to me. We are very much affected together with our four children. All of them are studying, and my youngest who is 6 years old is very much affected emotionally. I am planning to ask for the deportation of his mistress. I would like to know if I can do this even if I am here in our country. Please do help me for the sake of my children. Thank you.


lenlen

LENLEN wrote:Hi, I am a Filipina and presently here in the Philippines. My husband is a contract worker in Abu Dhabi. Recently I found out that he and his mistress who is also in Abu Dhabi are continuing their elicit affair through a forwarded text of his mistress to me. We are very much affected together with our four children. All of them are studying, and my youngest who is 6 years old is very much affected emotionally. I am planning to ask for the deportation of his mistress. I would like to know if I can do this even if I am here in our country. Please do help me for the sake of my children. Thank you.


lenlen

hi,

i dont have any idea how does deportation work here in connection with mistresses. but if you dont mind, i would like to ask if she is a filipina too?

woah, but most married men here have mistresses. either let him be and have an affair with another man yourself or divorce him.

888 wrote:woah, but most married men here have mistresses. either let him be and have an affair with another man yourself or divorce him.

is that so 888? do you think its as simple as that?

I really feel pity for Lenlen and her kids. I hope her husband will return to commonsense soon. Cheating on a spouse is terrible.

yes, she is also a Filipina. Its hurting me because I trusted my husband, to the extent that I gave up my plan of working overseas because thats what he wants. I am a civil engineer and he always hinders me every time I tried to apply, though my purpose is to help him and to help my parents as well. My father suffered from stroke since 2005 and until now, my mother is plain housewife only. I was supposed to go to Libya last 2007 as a technical engineer, everything is ready, all I am waiting is my visa. My husband convinced me not to go and I submitted to his decision because I trusted him. I gave up a greener pasture just for him, because I valued my family versus my career. Now I don't know if I've made a right decision in giving up that opportunity.

Hi Dear,

I am a mother of two toddlers. If you want my advise, you need to act as if nothing is going on and you know nothing. You need to attract him back again using your feminine touch and your kids. Either over the phone or video chatting or letters or photos. If you fail, keep the low profile as long as he is supporting you and your children. Try to overcome your feelings and emotions and think practiclly about your children. Act smart till you feel that you and your children are strog enough to be by your ownselfs. Collects profs and keep it for later when you need to show it to the court one day. Being a single mother with three children is not easy at all and its going to be very difficult to support them by yourself financially. You never know what will happen he may come back to his family and remember putting your kids at a young age under the stress of divorce is going to effect them badly to the rest of thier life. Concentrat on your kids education, protect yourself from any disease he might transfare to you during his visits and try to find a decent job if you can or higher education if don't have one. I know it soungs weak but i think this is the right approch in this case. At the end this is your life and you know whats better for you.

Lenlen-
Extramarital sex means prison/fine and deportation for both parties. Is that what you want? But usually it's not easy to prove, and the police are not usually SO interested- they leave people alone - this is a free country and people have rights to do what they want in the privacy of their own homes etc etc. UNLESS they are very unlucky or they annoy someone.

Before you answer, why would the mistresss send you that text message? Are you sure it's not a trick?

If he wants a divorce, he has to pay child support etc. Don't let him get away with a new life while you get all the responsibility. You have potential and you can work things out, but don't be hasty.

888- tell me more about the 'most married men' business.

FKA wrote:
888- tell me more about the 'most married men' business.

erm...most married men i encounter want to have affairs with me, just because i'm a young, single, independant woman AND my male ex-colleague told me of his hundreds of married male friends, he only know, maybe two of them who are faithful to their wives. So, he was saying, why make it a WRONG thing when EVERY man does it. So, it's not my words, it came from a MAN himself.

I think the critical word here is WANT.

I am assuming you disappointed most of those men.. they may not all have wanted affairs, probably something less long-term than that even.

What your ex-colleague was doing was probing to see how open YOU were to the idea of a little bedroom-action. You didn't realise? Hey, do you want a written invitation? A letter of intent?


Maybe this is typical of a male, but falling off the faithful-wagon is so different to having a mistress.

A drunken quickie at the office party (hello 888! they weren't just going over the annual sales figures.. they were 'going over the annual sales figures'!) is not at all similar to having a secret life that you hide from your partner.

I'm not even going to give my own opinion on how OK either case is or not. That's not relevant.

There is a certain amount of flirtation, maybe, a lot of wishful thinking, and a one-in-a-billion chance of the males (let's not kid ourselves, it IS usually males) getting what they want.

Don't forget, not every positive response to flirting actually goes ahead, past first base, and makes it all the way into home-run territory.

In Abu Dhabi, there are thousands of hard-working men away from their wives and families. They don't even have a microscopic chance of hooking up with someone for a one night stand. Not even an electron-microscopic chance. Or a nanoscopic chance. So don't give all those wives back home any more reason to worry.

Let's try it the other way round: How many of your friends have you heard from who have admitted to being the mistress of a married man? In AD? Or even something with less commitment?